Hi everyone, I've decided that this one post and the following ones will be written in English, because I want to improve my knowledge of the language, and then I think that writing in a foreign language (like English or French as well..) is more cool, and less private for me.. I mean: as all of you know, I'm Italian, and saying something in Italian is more personal than saying exactly the same thing in English.. This may help me to open myself, and trying to throw away all I have inside, because I find is quite difficult for me. Anyway, please correct my mistakes!
As someone knows, I've been in England for 3 weeks and I came back on the 8Th of Oct.
Is useless to say that this is been the very best time of my entire life.. Even London was more fantastic then my last time in Feb., there were 28 Celsius degrees, it was sunny and hot, everything was crystal clear.. Everything was bright! I really enjoyed London on that day (1St Oct.), but, even if I'm just back, I won't say anything about this period, I'm just saying that I really miss my England.
Autumn is coming, and with him is starting my quiet everyday routine.. This makes me calm and concentrated in life, in school, even if it's hard for me to concentrate while doing schoolwork! Autumn is back, and memories are finally going away, even if at first it seemed so hard. Autumn is back, school is back, old problems are back, my cousin's back at university, nights like that are finally back, but this year's different: my mom is not at home, she's at work every night, all the night long until the early morning (she looks after an very old lady that needs someone during the night in case she may die or not feeling well), and It's a strange sensation, a strange feeling her missing, it's like missing something vital, something without everything is different, but it's not a big difference, I mean, I always spend my time in my bedroom, i'm hardly ever in the living room, so I don't see her, I don't listen her voice in anyway, and I can't explaining this strange and deep sensation.
It's a kind of dynamic quiet.. It's a mixture of sensations and feelings swarming in the complete silence and darkness.
Some days ago it was my BD... I wanna be 16 again! I don't wanna be 17! Then I'll be 18, and time will fly and.. I don't want to!
Now, seriously, the last year was.. strange. Or maybe the strangest one is this one? For sure, it was different in a strange way.. I miss it. It tastes a little bitter.. I miss people that was with me in that period, but this doesn't mean that I may forgive them or retrace my steps.. This may be a mistake, it may be not.. The only way to know it just living.. Anyway I don't regret anything!
PS: I love this song.. It makes me think of how bastard my ex is, how much I suffer(ed) for him.. But sometimes in lasts in love, but sometimes it hurts instead..
Enjoy
"If I had to life my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner"
Tallulah Bankhead
